“If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi” by Neel Patel is a short story collection of mainly first-generation Indian-Americans as they navigate love, life, and loss. Through 11 short stories, I felt as if I had made 11 new friends. From an unhappy interior decorator to a medical student, Patel describes stories we can all relate to.
My favorite story was the book’s title story, “If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi.” Two brothers, starkly different, whose arguments go from teasing to relationship breaking. They don’t speak for years, even through the weddings and newborn children. The story is a beautiful look into a strained sibling relationship and offers an unsettling truth from many of our childhoods, especially for the BIPOCs growing up in a white town – we’d do anything for approval by the white majority. Patel’s character tells us to be white meant “knowing your place in the world without ever questioning it,” while that was not a privilege the main character was awarded. However, he also shows us what came to be reality for a few us – learning to overcome, growing a thick skin, becoming proud of our heritage, and finding community with others just like you.
Other stories narrate the poison rumors leave behind, illicit affairs, and explorations of identity. In a way, he depicts the true Indian-American identity. It is the very foundation for our lives, but remains simply the backdrop to the gifts and woes of human nature. One character prays to Lord Krishna amidst a fight with the school bullies; the sound of bhajans and the smell of chai wafting through the house in the morning; and the unspoken rules of interracial dating.
The stories touch upon racism faced by these characters and the whispers of homophobia within the community. You could very well imagine yourself in each of these characters shoes – pining for love, and ultimately leaving with loss.
I felt a sense of emptiness at the end of each story, desperately wanting an assurance that these characters find love and happiness. But I guess these endings are a reflection of reality; we don’t always see the happy ending immediately, but we can hope for brighter days ahead.
Ultimately, I was left with a sense of solidarity. As he so beautifully writes: “I realized that we weren’t so different after all…when it came to love, everyone was from a foreign place.” Through 11 stories, Patel shows us that despite our identities and the nature of our struggles, we all just want a sense of love and belonging.